A huge, inverted purple cow with a theatre inside is just a good thing. And for all those people who have been waiting for just such an appariton I say
1.) seek clinical help
2.) get down to the Southbank as there is one there RIGHT NOW.
The Regal Room is a live music venue on top of a jazzed up pub in Hammersmith. Last night, moments away from a bouncing, spotty horde watching Slipknot in the nearby Apollo I nibbled poshed up fish and chips and took in their weekly acoustic night.
Hold on...Hammersmith. Weirdest place on earth right? That drain hole roundabout, the way the streets lead nowhere, the puddling shadows beneath that famous flyover.
In a transformation both spiritual and physical the elite cabaret La Clique have landed in London, bringing variety back to the Hippodrome - a venue synonymous with the West End at its least discerning. Patrick Hussey meets the man behind the action, the fellow brushing the sparks from his shoulders – Brett Haylock.
The first and most obvious star of the Scratch new theatre festival is the building. Where have they been hiding the Battersea Arts Centre? Well Battersea obviously but very efficiently, I had never once heard of the place until I tiptoed up its steps last Wednesday night.
I had been promised new and engaging creativity, Scratch puts on deliberately informal and experimental theatre which I certainly got but on the way there I was struggling.
There are only five female sword swallowers in the whole world. During rehearsals for her new variety spectacular at the Roundhouse Patrick Hussey talks to the best, cabaret sensation Miss Behave.
Its an obvious question but you have to ask. How did you discover you like swallowing swords? Miss Behave takes a moment then gives me some flip depth.
'Well I'm pretty oral' she jokes, 'Yes everything likes going in my mouth. Beer, cigars, why not swords?'
There is something about the white South African accent, especially in men. It suggests something to my London ear, conjuring images of lemon highlights,chunky watches and a unique brand of snorting, petty fascism.
In fact, let's be honest, when most people hear that accent you almost see the word 'RACIST' light up above the speaker. Somewhere inside you think wanker and turn away.
Just the other day, Patrick Hussey met with Flo from Florence and the Machine, along with her pal, Mairead from the Queens of Noize to discover more about this live wire who’s set to stir our spirits during this summer of love.
I am sitting in a Shoreditch pub jacked up to near quivering on Lemsip but not just any old Lemsip. It’s the powder kind that comes in little tubes and tastes like hospital floors. I keep pouring the fizzy dust into my mouth.
Chelsea Hotel Manhattan
Patrick Hussey reviews Joe Ambrose’s book on New York’s Chelsea Hotel, the first factual book on the building featuring conversations with William Burroughs, Paul Bowles, Gerard Malanga, Victor Bockris among others.
Just when I hate London, when I see it as a focus less nowhere this city offers something. It was the B-Club that gave London it's chance last week, an event that to begin with I felt was an aimless (perhaps heartless is the word) night attended by fashionista shells, those vanilla souls in hipster disguise. It wasn't actually and because of this unusual night I got a treat. London showed me one of its hidden places, a jewel normally swept back in its grey folds...the Temple Room of the Andaz hotel.