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Bearded Kitten: The Story of Life at Pulse London

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Time 21:00
Date 08/03/13
Price £20
  • Produced by Bearded Kitten
  • Price £20
  • Get ready to be very silly. Very silly indeed. As silliest silly as if your life depended on silly.
  • Bring along Nappies. For the beginning and the end.
  • Surf to Buy tickets
  • See you at Pulse

Bearded Kitten are back with their EPIC festival warm-up party that celebrates the 'best of times' without the 'worst of times'.

A roaring rampage through life without the boring bits. Indulge your inner child, live out your daftest wedding fantasy and get soup mopped from brow as you skip through life major moments. 

The mischeivous bearded kittens have transformed Pulse London into a playpen of nonsense to create a life affirming journey. Expect immersive theatre, crowd games, installations, bands, Bingo and mega DJs.


“It’s the party of a life time... literally!”

Life is a beautiful thing and we want to celebrate it.
Your first kiss behind the bike sheds, getting married, office promotion, starting a family, sitting in the old folks home, all before meeting your maker and pushing up the daisies.

Bearded Kitten is back with their annual club spectacular following the success of last year’s sell-out party ‘Around the World’. Bearded Kitten return to one of London’s biggest nightclubs, Pulse, to proudly present...

“The Story of Life”
A night that celebrates all the best moments of life without the rubbish bits inbetween.

You will be taken on a journey through our transformed venue enjoying a night of immersive theatre performance, crowd games, installations, live bands and DJs.

The Journey of life...
The reception of Pulse Nightclub will be transformed into a delivery room where each new (born) clubber will be greeted by our birthing team who will get them out of their coats and slap them gently on the behind to check if they’re alive and kicking. Guests will enter an immersive club experience with each room offering a totally unique theme that reflects a momentous occasion in life, from birth to death, complete with interactive performance and DJs.

Main Room – The Family Room
Bands and DJs that will have you ‘living out your greatest moments on the dance floor’.

Headline Special Guest DJ - TBA

Musical Youth the British reggae band, best remembered for their successful single “Pass the Dutchie”, which was a number 1 hit across the world joins us in The Family Room to remind us of our misspent youth.

Clean Bandit the electro string quartet whose live sets burst with acoustic drums, keys, vocalists and MCs.

Benji Boko he has been called “Peak hour dance-floor weaponry” and has played with everyone from Deadmau5, Justice and Calvin Harris. Benji describes his show as “Completely improvised, off the cuff, live remixing,” adding that when performing he truly has no idea what he’s going to do next.

The other room experiences...

Arch 1 – Primary School
Release your inner child in a room complete with climbing frame, giant toys, ball pool, interactive crowd games and music that will blast guests back to their care free adolescent days and that first kiss behind the bike sheds. Taking us back in time are DJs Mamiko Motto, Terry Vietheer, Blonde Ambition and Terrapin.

Arch 2 – The Wedding
No time to waste, you’re late for your own wedding. Elope to Gretna Green where Bearded Kitten have taken care of all the arrangements, cake, bridesmaids and even over bearing parents will all be provided to ensure this day is special. Marry your friends, marry your lover or marry a stranger. Only love matters. DJs in the chapel Goldierocks, Your Niece, Tim Fanucci and Georgie Rogers will have you worshipping at the ‘Alter of Disco’ for a wedding you will never forget! Sign up on the night for your chance to be a part of it.

The Office
Time to take some responsibility in your life. Don’t worry, not much. Get a job, get a loan and get a grip! Talk to our business professionals who will put you on the right career path and totally sort your life out. Experience all the fun of the office, shout at our Bankers and play with the photocopier.

Performance & Roaming Interactivity
The Job Centre – What could be more fun a job interview on a night out!
The Flirt Factory Telephones – Secret Garden Party’s flirty and slightly dirty telephone service.
The Naughty Photocopier – Impress a friend with a photocopy of a body part.
‘Beat the Banker’ – This guy makes Dragon’s Den look like a push over.
The Driving Test – Our instructor will put you through your paces but watch out for that drunken guy in the middle of the road!!!

Arch 3 – Retirement Home
It’s been a hectic life and you’ve earned some time to relax. Put your feet up and settle into retirement. Grow old with the one you love or just wear a nappy sit in your own filth with your mates who probably don’t even remember your name. Who cares, let the Twisted Loaf Nurses clean up your mess, drink some delicious FREE SOUP and take a moment to play bingo with comedian’s Robin & Partridge.

Funeral Camp – The Dank Parish
It was evitable; you couldn’t run from him any more. Here you can experience your own funeral and Death meets you like an old boyfriend long forgotten and guides you in to the afterlife with some heavenly tunes or some dirty bass depending on how good or bad you have been behaving whilst you were alive.

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The story so far...
Bearded Kitten the pioneers of festival entertainment with their bespoke shows and venues looking after thousands of revelers earning them the “Extra Activity Award” at the annual UK Festival Awards of 2011.

The Kittens are renowned for unique concept parties. Last year they took you ‘Around the World’ stopping at various countries to partake in their entertainment and turning Pulse Nightclub into a giant airport with walk about performance and live acts. This year they will endeavor to recreate the journey of life. Bearded Kitten will be appearing at over 22 UK festivals including Rockness, Glastonbury and Secret Garden Party.



COMPETITION: Win 1x Pair of tickets to attend Bearded Kitten: The Story of Life at Pulse London. The tickets are for Friday 8 March. To enter the competition, send an email to with the correct answer in the ‘subject’ box. The winner will be randomly selected

Q: As part of The Story of Life, Musical Youth (those 80s hipster stars) will be performing a set in The Family Room. You must know their all-time chart busting hit 'Pass The Dutchie', right? Of course you do! Here's the opening line: 'This generation rules the nation with version'. The question is, what's the second line of the opening verse?

A: .1) Love is all you need .2) Life is very short, and there's no time for fussing and fighting, my friend .3) I don't care too much for money, money can't buy me love .4) Music happen to be the food of love

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