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Cults, wild characters, big circus skills and the journey of reaching UTOPIAN. By Symoné

Two lies and one truth;
I’ve experienced telepathy.
I've spent 10k to become enlightened.
I followed a guru and fell in love with them.

A few years back, I let curiosity and blind fate lead my life. I accidentally fell into a cult. No, you’re not allowed to give me sympathy eyes, I haven’t told you anything.

I accidentally brainwashed myself in a cult and that’s kind of funny. Well, it’s kind of funny to me. From being someone that would watch documentaries on cults and have long conversations with friends about these groups. So to say the obvious, it was ironic.

However, to be truthful, at the time I was not the best version of myself, I was vulnerable and got caught up in one of the biggest cults in the world.

I’m not going to reveal to you the cult I was in, how I fell into it, the things that happened (sorry). However, I would like to say that despite the unique experience, we might have a lot in common and I want to share that.

Oh, that was two truths and one lie.


THE FOOL is the first card in the Major Arcana in tarot. It’s been a long time since I used to read tarot cards, but this card always stayed in my memory. Faced upright, this card is about possibilities and new beginnings. In the card, there is a picture of a jester, seemingly about to fall down a large cliff, looks up at the sun with joy in his face and replicated by their dog companion next to them.

THE FOOL can be anything. It’s childlike energy allows luck and spontaneity rule their life.
I like to believe in a way this card has a large significance for me and how I live. If I’m not careful, this carefree energy can become quietly reckless. When THE FOOL is reversed, it signifies that imbalance and is basically a danger to itself.

In my real world terms, this card has taught me to loosen the fuck up and to stop taking life so seriously. So, concrete beliefs don’t (totally) rule my life (I’m getting there) anymore.

UTOPIAN is inspired by experience in the cult and who I am now. American Underground rave, queer clubbing, and ballroom (voguing) culture are a huge part of who I am and I’m going to share this environment in my new show. The uplifting environment, wild characters, big circus skills are the surface, but I have more to share.

If we met and we spoke one to one, and I told you some of the things that happened to me in this cult, I’m sure there’s something you might relate to. I don’t hear enough about mass manipulation, gaslighting, the dangers of groupthink and compliance. I hope to create a show that’s a space for those that experienced something dark to come escape to heal into my world and to have a cathartic experience together. | Instagram 

Symoné is a queer black multidisciplinary circus performer bringing a preview of her new show to Circus Circus Circus next month at Hoxton Hall November 22nd. For more information and tickets, head to
Directed by Bryn Harris Wathen
Co-written by Louisa Robbin
Dramaturgy by Layla Rosa
Produced by Sascha Goslin

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